WHY DO WE NEED GENDER SENISITIZATION ?

Humans have the need to categorize everything. That is how we make sense of the world. But when we start categorizing each other, especially on the bases of unfounded beliefs, we do a lot of damage. One of those harmful categories is MAN and WOMAN. Putting our biological differences aside, men and women do not need categorization. Men and women experience the same range of emotions – happy, sad, angry, and frustrated; have ambitions and dreams and eventually seek the common goal of peaceful and happy existence. Boys do cry and some girls like to play in the mud. Essentially it comes down to our likes and preferences that define us and not our gender. Expecting men and women to carry out gender specific roles is very damaging to our present culture. Men have to carry a huge burden to provide for their family. Whether or not they have ambition, they feel the pressure to work in jobs that are high paying regardless of their interest or aptitude. This leads to depression and frustration in men. Expecting a woman to carry out domestic tasks when she may have the potential to cure cancer, for example, is an injustice to our society. These categories are stopping women from reaching their full potential and not allowing men to be an equal part of their children’s lives.

While rigid gender roles and categorization negatively impact both genders, it is the women that are at more of a disadvantage. Ours is a patriarchal society which is designed to benefit men. Men have support from home – their house is cleaned, their food is cooked and their children are taken care of. This allows men to function relatively efficiently at work, allowing them to put in more hours, which makes it more likely for them to be promoted. Men have sexual power in society and are raised to believe that they are entitled to sex – either from their wives or girlfriends, or even a woman on the street without needing consent. We have created a culture where sex is believed to be an act for a man to enjoy and a woman to provide. We tell our girls to cover up, protect themselves and avoid going out, in other words, to limit their movement in order to survive in this environment, whereas men are encouraged to take what they want. So how are we equal? How are we respecting women when we limit them, curb their ambitions and don’t provide them equal opportunity and support to show their true potential? When we do not pay women wages equal to their male counterparts or when we groom our daughters to be better wives than professionals, how are we creating equality? To convert the abstract into actual tangible actions, we need to become more aware, more sensitive and challenge those mindsets that are damaging to ourselves and others. This is why we need gender sensitization – to sensitize both men and women to these crippling notions. Gender equality is not just a woman’s issue or a man’s issue. Rather it is the responsibly of both sexes to work towards a more balanced society where individuals are free to be who they are without being stereotyped, harassed or judged.

CASTE EXISTS , WHETHER YOU BELIEVE IT OR NO.

Power is not a difficult or an unusual concept to be understood. Power as domination, is generally understood to be recognizable. It is a lived experience for all of us, whether in the form of exercising it or experiencing it. However, it is argued that while power is a lived experience, it cannot always be seen. It is not always recognisable as there are some forms of power which we internalise and normalise, making it a social fact, which let alone resist, we cannot even recognise.

Sadly, this seems to be the case for caste in modern urban India. A generally-held view among young, upper-class urbanites is that caste is a problem of rural India. While a general survey would suffice to prove my point, the voices against caste-based reservations definitely shows this. Going by the slogans and opinions of the anti-caste-based reservation, it seems that most are unaware of the very logic behind reservation. They see it as a privilege being extended to some because they were discriminated centuries back. They see the reservation as "discriminating" the general category. It is viewed as "anti-progressive". Infact, reservation has almost become a joke for many. Recently, Aam Aadmi party had proposed reservation for Delhi students in Delhi University. Reservation is being seen as a privilege, rather than as an opportunity for the deprived. It is sad to see these views but the truth is that, this is the popular view of most of the upper-class urbanites.

It is sad but not shocking that the rationale behind caste-based reservation is not understood because this again comes from the dominating section who had not only dominated but is still dominating. The caste-based domination is not an evil of yesterday, it is going on. It is the reality of today that still there is a discrimination against students of backward castes in schools. The report of a mainstream and popular Newspaper, Times of India, dated 25 June 2009 talked about the discrimination faced by backward caste students across India. In the report titled "Dalit kids cannot use school loo but have to clean them", it is stated how not only the students but the teachers also indulge in caste-based discrimination. They are made to sit on the floor, punished unnecessarily, forced to clean the classrooms, the toilets, and are refrained from attending several school programmes. Similarly The Hindu, had released its report titled "In Perali village, Dalits can't cycle in upper caste areas" in this very century. These are not the discriminations of the past, but the realities of today. Upper-caste men raping dalit women is almost a norm in villages even today.

As about caste being a problem only of the rural India, these upper-class, educated urbanites should ask the caste of the people who come to collect garbage from their house or clean the mess on the roads, in their schools/colleges and workplaces. According to The report 'Upper castes pose problem for sanitation in BMC' published in The Hindu dated 27 July 2009, while the upper-caste would be appointed, they would not clean roads and drains because they felt that it the work of the lower-castes. The class of sweepers is still largely dominated by the people of underprivileged or backward castes. This is not all. It is wrong to think that discrimination happens only in villages. According to the report titled "Suicide by Dalit students in 4 years" published in The Hindu dated 5 September 2011, 18 students in some premiere educational institutions had committed suicide in four years because of traumatic experience of caste-based discrimination. One of the victims, a Dalit student in AIIMS was taunted by both the faculty and class mates:

"How could Chamars become doctors? You have come here only because of quota, you cannot go ahead"

This was not a one of its kind report. There are hundreds of such reports and thousands of unreported stories. How many of the 'progressive, educated' upper-caste youths do even realise that their abuses are also caste-based? The abusive words "bhangi", "chamar", "chuda" are names of some underprivileged castes. Caste is not just limited to the rural. It is very much present in the urban areas. Another way to 'see' it is in the institution of marriage. Even today, inter-caste marriages are a problem. Contrary to the view, honor killing and the 'milder' forms of abuse and discrimination are not limited to rural areas.

It has been argued that class, not caste, should be given reservation. Do the urban, educated, upper-caste youth realise that a large section of the poor comprise of the under-privileged or backward castes? Caste is not such a social identity. It is tied to political and economic identity as well. They need opportunities to come up. Reservation based on caste will ensure them economic liberation and may also lead to their social liberation. When they will get opportunities to prove themselves, to break this myth that they are good only for 'menial' tasks, they will be able to provoke a change in thinking.

I would like to conclude by arguing that caste is still a reality of the today, whether the urban, upper-caste people can 'see' it or not. The reason why the urban, upper-caste youth cannot see it is not because it does not exist, but because they are not affected by it. Ask a Dalit, what caste is. As about this constant debate of going 'beyond caste', as Social Scientist Surinder Jodka had rightly pointed out, the beyond framework seems to be a conspiracy of the upper-caste. We cannot go beyond the caste because caste still exists and determines the life of a large section of population".

TV SOAPS GET BOLDER, SPREAD SOCIAL AWARENESS.

We have had enough of daily soaps and saas bahusagas that are in someway or the other a reflection of the regressive ways we follow in our society. With changing times and people becoming more aware, I am glad to see how Indian TV soaps have also taken a leap and aren't sticking to the old school of thought while touching upon serious topics.

Point in reference being Balika Vadhu - a show that started off with a purpose to root out social evils prevalent in backward parts of our country has reached a level, where they openly brought to light a subject like sex education and dealt with it in such beautiful manner.

Seriously, those who still are of the opinion that Indian TV soaps suck and merely wastage of time, should try to see beyond what the teary soaps show. I was literally flabbergasted to see the episode where a little school girl was shown being a victim of sexual abuse by her own school teacher and out of fear, she doesn't tell anyone about it.

Highlighting this as the most heinous crime against kids, the show then had an episode where characters were shown talking to school kids in the village about sex education and how to differentiate between good and bad touch. The way they narrated the story of sexual abuse among kids through the medium of an animated film so easily conveyed the desired message to the students.

Sadly, majority of so-called modern parents in our society still have apprehensions about talking about sex with their kids. I don't understand WHY! Isn't it better to prepare your child against such evils and wicked ways of the world rather than letting them be in such situation and then dealing with the trauma that follows!

It's so amusing to see that while we thought TV shows promote crimes against women, we have shows that actually take responsibility to educate women to stand p for their rights and fight back if any such unfortunate situation arises.

Somewhere it's a gradual transition that Indian television industry has gone through. We no longer have to bear through an overdose of melodramatic family shows that only promoted a male dominant society, rather with such socially strong and viable soaps, show-makers are actually serving rhe right purpose, to help society and make it a better place to live.

Over the last five years, this has brought to light such intricate topics that surprisingly even fail to address in an appropriate manner. It's no less than an irony when we say we are liberal in our outlook but the fact remains that we are the most stuck in the rut lot.

Be it pre-marital rape, remarriage, adoption, surrogacy and more recently, imparting sex education, the way this daily prime time show has taken bold steps with every passing episode is worth lauding. Needless to mention the social message it gives to the society is clearly an indication of the change that we all need to bring in our lives. Sooner the better.

SPARE THE ROD.

Fundamentally, for me, hitting children is a strict no-no. However, there is a school of thought which believes that sparing the “rod” in the initial years will lead to spoiling the child. I am not proposing that believers in using the “rod” only follow this approach to discipline the child but am saying that there is an inclination to use the “rod” more frequently, depending upon the situation at hand.

Not taking a professional qualified view on this approach, but the fact that one is inclined to use force to discipline the child could result in the following situations:

1. The child becoming timid and scared on account of the fear of the severe reprimand he or she is likely to receive in case they do a serious enough offence.

2. Conversely, the worst can happen, i.e. they can become obtuse and indifferent to the beating that they get there by becoming a possible rebel.

In my opinion both the scenarios described above are not desirable at all. Infact, a more mature and effective approach would be to counsel the child on the mistake that he or she has done and how they should learn from this, recognize the consequences of their actions and hopefully not repeat it. I feel that frequent, unrequited use of the “rod” is akin to disrespecting the child – their personality and individuality. It is also a shortcut that people in authority choose to take to get their point across or job done.

However, I feel the conversational approach is better in the long-term for all the relationships involved. Depending upon the seriousness of the situation, at times a raised voice along with stern looks can be equally effective in sending home the message. Yes, sometimes some cooling off time could also be required (for both parties involved) wherein the child should introspect and recognize the results of their action and learn from them and the adult and the authority figure should control/compose themselves.

Net-net using the “rod” is not going to be any more effective than a counseling approach, rather by not using this approach, you are more likely to ensure that your child will grow into a confident self-assured individual.

THE POWER OF PERCEPTION.

Perception defines positivity. This is why inspiration is restricted to just a few while the rest wallow in the impact of their failures, drown in the misery of their loss and suffer with the consequences of negativity. The mind is so powerful that it is capable of understanding a single situation from multiple angles thought in the end, only one emotion swims through, beating the rest. This could be happiness, depression, frustration, rage or disappointment. Whichever one emotion clicks, that becomes the defining factor of an individual’s personality. For example, in the simple theory of the glass being half empty, a few choose to see it as half full and call that a more renewed way of thinking. That makes me wonder, is that all that optimism is about? And I conclude that, yes, up to a certain level, yes. But then again, going beyond to use that water for some good like quenching someone’s thirst or watering a small plant? That is selfless productivity. And from selflessness comes happiness.
I derive my optimism from a smile. Not the pleasant, formal one that we all bear on our faces from time to time but the genuine smiles that reach our eyes. Oh, those are few and far off in most lives, but perhaps that is what makes them so special. So, in actuality, I have not one story but many small ones that make up a single block of my memory. That surely has to be more powerful than a single experience because it means I had a chance to witness optimism in a lot of occurrences, moments and situations. Trust me when I sae that you can too. All it takes is perception. Perceive the good and shun the negative. Perceive the strengths and modify the weaknesses. Perceive inner beauty and ignore externalities. Realise that all of this is in the power of your mind. 
Usually, I go about my day, feeling happy about making someone else smile. It could be a situation as simple as waving to an excited child in a school bus or a random act of kindness like helping a disabled person cross the road. Other selfless acts like making donations and inspiring others to donate, handing an underprivileged person some leftover food, picking up litter on the streets to throw into the dustbins and just spreading your own smile to strangers around you can create a large impact, one that goes beyond the obvious.
Don’t see the pain and the suffering in the world. See the possibility of relief and freedom instead and do all that it takes to make it a reality. This is my story, my realisation that instead of searching for the optimism that is all around us, we just need to open our minds to see it…

Mental health on TV: Entertainment vs Realism and Sensitivity.

If someone’s arm was broken on TV we would see it bandaged up. If someone had diabetes we would see them receiving insulin. If we see someone had a heart condition we would see them wired up to an ECG machine.So why when we see people displaying symptoms of mental illness do we usually see this depicted as violent or histrionic, with a focus on the challenge and not the solution? We are all very familiar with seeing mental illness portrayed in cliched, negatively stereotypical ways on our TV screens. Classic symptoms pointing to clinical depression can often be overlooked in the early stages. They  cleverly highlight theshow the insidious nature of the illness.
I believe it is all around finding the right balance between providing drama for the viewers but also ensuring mental health is not further stigmatised through lazy, damaging scriptwriting. It is a win-win situation for everyone to have mental health storylines depicted with responsibility, authenticity and maturity:
• viewers will gain more awareness of symptoms and treatment
• the programme will receive positive publicity for the research and efforts made
• a powerful anti stigma message will be ultimately delivered.

It is critical to present as authentic a picture of mental health symptoms and treatment as possible to de stigmatise mental illness. The media plays a role that must never be underestimated. It will educate and challenge opinions, it will inform. The viewers opinions and impressions are often influenced by what they see and hear on their TV screens.
This is the reality.
The person who is ill does not usually suffer alone, their families/partners have usually cared for them before they seek help and continue to provide care afterwards. I will be watching the Coronation Street storyline to see how those near to Steve are effected by his own deterioration. It must also be realistic in showing the time span of the illness. It would be ludicrous for the viewers to see a decline into severe clinical depression undermined by a miraculous recovery within weeks.Unfortunately drama that portrays a swift recovery only serves to misinform and mislead. Realism and credibility is then left on the cutting room floor. This is why good research is the key alongside learning the lessons of the past. The seed will eventually grow into a realisation that when covering the topic of mental health, it is crucial this is responsibly portrayed in the media.

IS MEDIA PLAYING IT'S ROLE RIGHT ?

In the world of today, media has become as necessary as food and clothing. Society is influenced by media in so many ways. It is the media for the masses that helps them to get information about a lot of things and also to form opinions and make judgments regarding various issues! It is the media which keeps the people updated and informed about what is happening around them and the world. Everyone can draw something from it.

The media affects people's perspective. Media has had a bad effect on a generation, mainly because ,youth is strongly influenced by media.  Sometimes, they focus on bad part of the media and strive to be a part of it. However, many are not succumbed to a life of crime!  Teenagers and children wish to follow the people ,who get recognized and do what they do to get noticed.  Media these days, tries to eye the news ,which could help them to sell the information that is gathered worldwide, so that they could pave a way of success and fame of their respective channels. Fm radios, newspapers, information found on net and television are the mass medias that serve to reduce the communication gap between the audience, viewers and the media world. For the sake of publicity and selling, important figures, their lifestyles are usually targeted.  Media these days, tries to eye the news ,which could help them to sell the information that is gathered worldwide, so that they could pave a way of success and fame of their respective channels. Fm radios, newspapers, information found on net and television are the mass medias that serve to reduce the communication gap between the audience, viewers and the media world.

Unimportant and irrelevant news, that usually have no importance are given priority and due to a reason or the other ,they get onto the minds of the viewers and in this ways many a times,important political,economical and sociological news get neglected and gradually,lose their importance! No doubt,media has played significant role in making world a global village and to reduce the communication gaps amongst the people living in the far areas.

If the media identifies its responsibility and work sincerely and honestly ,then it can serve as a great force in building the nation.

BEYOND RAPE.

For those of us who feel being raped could be the worst thing we've come across in life, cases of Aruna Shanbaug would surely leave us numb.
Aruna Shanbaug , is a former nurse from Haldipur, Uttar Kannada, Karnataka in India. In 1973, while working as a junior nurse at King Edward Memorial Hospital, Parel, Mumbai, she was sexually assaulted by a ward boy, Sohanlal Bhartha Walmiki and has been in a vegetative state since the assault. On 24 January 2011, after she had been in this status for 37 years, the Supreme Court of India responded to the plea for euthanasia filed by Aruna's friend journalist Pinki Virani, by setting up a medical panel to examine her. The court turned down the mercy killing petition on 7 March 2011. However in its landmark judgment, it allowed passive euthanasia in India. On the night of 27 November 1973, Shanbaug was sexually assaulted by Sohanlal Bhartha Walmiki, a sweeper on contract at the King Edward Memorial Hospital.Sohanlal attacked her while she was changing clothes in the hospital basement. He choked her with a dog chain and sodomized her. The asphyxiation cut off oxygen supply to her brain, resulting in brain stem contusion injury and cervical cord injury apart from leaving her cortically blind.The police case was registered as a case of robbery and attempted murder on account of the concealment of anal rape by the doctors under the instructions of the Dean of KEM, Dr. Deshpande, perhaps to avoid the social rejection of the victim,and her impending marriage.
" Sohanlal was caught and convicted, and served two concurrent seven-year sentences for assault and robbery, neither for rape or sexual molestation, nor for the unnatural sexual offence"
This wasn't even funny. How could our ' Responsible Government' possibly state this as a mere robbery and an assault while charming Aruna on the other hand had lost her life forever! She definitely would not see a happy sunshine again. Most of us don't even know if Aruna even existed. It's sad how some crimes go unseen. Not only did the Government free her victim after a small punishment, they didn't approve of plea's to die in peace. Wasn't it sufficient that she had an unpeaceful life?. She wasn't allowed to die in peace.
Euthanasia refers to the practice of intentionally ending a life in order to relieve pain or suffering. For example, taking a patient off the ventilator in case of an irreversible coma. This practice can be either active or passive.Following the Aruna Shanbaug case, the Supreme Court has legalised passive. A mercy killing petition was rejected by the Supreme Court in 2011, but the court allowed withholding treatment so that the patient would die. 
Aruna Shanbaug continues to be in pain since the last 41 years. She cannot speak or communicate, but she is partially conscious. Ever since the Supreme Court order, she must have been agonised with more pain now that all the treatments have stopped.
Shouldn’t the Supreme Court, then, reconsider this ordeal the lady has faced for her lifetime? Wasn’t that heinous rape enough?